Been catching up with friends from school.  It's pretty cool/saddening/interesting to hear what's happened to them throughout the years, and it's like...

Oh, so you're pregnant and living at your grandmother's house and still in high school and your brother's shipped off to Iraq, yeah, the one who everyone had a crush on in high school oh and that's a gorgeous engagement ring, he was an asshole anyway

At least they're doing something with their lives.
Buuut anywho, hit me up on facebook if you get a chance.  I finally gave in and, despite my hatred for social networking sites, it's helped me find old friends, so I figure it's pretty rad.

Here~

Buhhhh.

Another bust Halloween. v__v
I was even EXCITED!! Dx Ah well~
Can't win 'em all.

</3

Next year I WILL go out and DO SOMETHING besides sit around like what THEY want to do.  Like scaring kids.  Want plz.



p.s. also sry no piccus, I said I'd up some but I FAIL LOL.  The makeup got annoying after a while so I decided to scrub it off at the Whetten's. -.-;

I got to Joey's and we watched this indie flick called Gypsy 83, which is pretty much about the goth subculture in the late eighties/early nineties.  Totally a coming of age movie but I liked it >_>;  Likable main char number one: Gypsy.  Her mother left her, blahblah, and she's into elegant goth things like corsets and velvet shawls.  Totally who I wanted to be when I was in jr high/high school.  I kid you not lol <3  She's also chubby which shouldn't, but does, make me like her a bit more.  Likable main char number two: Clive.  The gay, pvc-and-tophat-and-peasantshirt-wearing adorable little dork. <3  He's still in high school.  Fucking adorable.  Again, I say.

Also we were sitting watching a particularly painful scene [for him anyway, it was a gayfuck in a bathroom stall gay amish boyyy<3] and I asked him if I'd look good in a corset.  Because ever since I was a baby [Read: TWELVE] I've kindof wanted one.  He replied: "Corset?  You'd make a burlap sack look good."  Which made me awww.

Okay enough with the mooshy lj entryyyy
I drew puppiesss :C

[EDIT: I'm starting to think I need to create a brandnew livejournal JUST FOR... I don't know.  Less family-friendly things.  As if the already enormous amount of foul language and self-injuring talk in this journal constitutes as family-friendly ANYWAY.  I just have a lot of things on my mind that I'd love to get out is all.  Thoughts?]

lol I just attempted to make a vidblog on Youtube, right? [After ten attempts I found out THAT:]
MY MICROPHONE IS FUCKED.
PHUCKD.

It'll record for maybe a minute then emit this earsplitting SCHHHH static noise.

I don't know what her aim is.  Maybe she's saying my hair sucks?  Or my face hurts like burning to look at?  Probably not, but hey.  I saw an ad in the paper that a local place was looking for hairdressers, so maybe it won't be so bad, learning all that.  Joey said~ That we all have to do things we don't wanna do.  I guess this is one of those things.  I mean, you get paid in tips and stuff, once you start doing actual makeuphairnailswaxingewwww.  I have to quit being a baby about it.  Just because I'd rather go learn how to be a mechanic, and I don't think I'll get along with the other students, and I don't really have a genuine interest in doing makeup, doesn't mean it's not worth a try.  If I DO try it, I won't wuss out.  WILL NOT.

Also I think cutting/colouring hair might be pretty rad.  I've always liked dying hair.

I dunno.  Big decisions.

I'm already PSYCHED for Christmas, when it's the COMPLETELY wrong time of year. e__e;  I need to go practice stage makeup to get me in the spirit of halloween.  Or maybe go sacrifice a goat. :|  AT ANY RATE, the jack o lantern my mom and I carved? :|  TOTALLY ALL MUSHY NOW.  She said it would be fine but yeah okay >_> We can just carve another one.  About Christmas, though: I get to send a package to my boyyy <3 I'm pretty excited for that.  And I've already decided I'm gonna bake Gingerbread cookies for everyone.  BAKING, YEAH. 

Anyway, I'm gonna go draw now. x3
must resist urge to draw puppiessss

http://eventful.com/performers/paranormal-activity-/P0-001-000212499-6/competitions

If you have a head on your shoulders, you will go vote for it.

...if you don't, well, my condolences.

:| Srsly, I want to see this shit in theatres.  Yes, this is a completely selfish request. >_>;;;

Today's journal will be mindless, write-as-I-think ranting.  Read at your discretion.

I just saw an ad on the side of my screen that said "1 LAW TO A PERFECT BODY".  now, I know this is complete bullshit.  I know that.  I ignore these sort of ads whenever I happen to catch them on the sidebarthinger.  What I want to know is what makes people think there is a perfect body ANYWAY?  There isn't.  One person's idea of a perfect body is COMPLETELY different from someone else's.  For instance:  I like nearly-anorexic boys.  This is fact.  I can't change my opinion, and I don't want to.  THIS IS WHAT I LIKE.  Deni?  She likes muscly, toned men who could pick her up and set her on their shoulder.  Joey couldn't care less about bodytypes, but chicks who can talk about how hard Halo 3 is on Legendary, and why the fuck did she run out of rounds for her snipe just then, really get his ears to perkin'.  We all have our likes and dislikes, turnons and turnoffs.  It's not important to get THE PERFECT BODY, quote quote, unless, y'know, you know EXACTLY who you want to please.  That one person who you want to flaunt in front of.  Because even if he or she likes you, there's someone out there that will HATE YOUR GUTS.

I wish I wish I was a fish.  Also, quit slumping.  Your back's gonna stick that way and your stomach and butt and backfat and boobs will look like an accordion from the side.

You need to decide on your style. :| Do you want:
a) An excuse to draw in chibi nearlyconstantly and use blushmarks and make EVERYONE beautiful and GREAT BIG ANIME EYES and MINDLESS AMOUNTS OF CUTE? aka, ANIME.
or do you want
b) An excuse to exagerate everything, not be afraid to draw gross things like toejam and farts and underarm hair, draw gorillaz-esque mouths and western-styled faceshapes? aka, CARTOONY.

Man, they both have their delicious sides, though... I guess what I want to aim for is the best of both worlds.  I really really want that but I don't even know if it's ACHIEVABLE.

buuu.  I know no one reads this journal except YOU D8< ...You... you two or three people out there who actually get bored enough or give a damn...

But fuck, I want to be petted, in real life.  I want to be hugged and cuddled by someone who isn't liable to molest me [the type of molesting that's BAD, mind you, the other type is okay], and I want to be told I'm loved.

Call me a freak for wanting all that.
[I'm  Glad  I'm  Not  Afraid  To  Pretend  And  Have  Fun  In  Front  Of  You  Anymore. speakingoffreaks.<3]

I really would like to flip my matress over so there's not a dent in my bed. .-.;  IS IT JUST BECAUSE I'M FAT OR IS IT BECAUSE I HAVENT FLIPPED IT OVER YET?  This question is bothering me immensely.  Also I caught a look at myself in the mirror tonight while stretching my shrunken jacket--
LOL MICHELLE NEEDS TO GO FOR WALKIES.

It's not that I'm fat, I'm just out of SHAPE.  There's a difference lol, promise.

SO YEAH
Sorry you had to be here for all that, but I don't regret a thing. >:C

EDIT: Fucked up big time.

"...I'm not doing much good here, can I leave?"

Went in the back room and cried for maybe five minutes.  Connie was in the kitchen cutting up brownies, so I just asked her.

She said "I should ask Stepphy, but sure.  Go ahead."
 

---------------

OHMAN YOU GUYS.

Second day of work at Tony's Kitchen~ Still not sure if Letti wants me on for good, but it's awesome that she wants me for another day.  So.  Haircut, then straight to work.  The hours are pretty ace-- Come in at 11, leave whenever business gets slow.  Be it 2, 3, or 4.  Not to be selfish or anything, but JESUS it's great that I still get to talk to the boyf. <3

Deni told me she wants just the both of us to go to the county fairrrrrr ;A; Must. Resist. Urge. To. Squee.

But yeah~

Life's going pretty good right now, despite the lack of funds. <3

ALSO
ALL OF YOU
Check out Anti-Flag.  Been way too into bands like them as of late. <3 ["Turncoat" is my favourite of theirs so far.]

And I won't tell you 'cause it's a secret~

Instead, have this tasty meme I ganked from Oto.  I don't agree with some of the genres the bands are put in BUT HEY.  A meme is a meme.
Oh wait!  Before the meme, it's my good fortune that the beauty college is doing free haircuts on Wednesday. Got an appointment. x3  Don't worry, I just wanna get my bangs cut. They're drivin' me crazy.

Today, something amazing happened.

I was having lunch with my mom and Juanita, and Lette [pronounced let-tea, Juanita's sister] comes up and starts telling us about the run-in with the law one of her dishwashers had a couple months ago that was completely unfair and humiliating. So, I sat there, giving my two cents when I thought it was okay to, and nodding and "mm-hmm"ing, y'know.  Listening.  What I do best.

And then she gets onto how her new waitress isn't very... waitress-y.  She sits around, twiddles her thumbs when she could be checking on drinks, doesn't help much.  She's a good kid, but she only got in because her mom works there, too.  So.  She asks me what /I'm/ doing.  I didn't think anything of it at this point.  Going to school?  Nah, I applied for aid but didn't get it.  Working?  Nope, looking desperately.

Well, she says, I hired two girls and I don't think either of 'em'll last.  She turns to Juanita, lets her know she's gonna give them 'till Thursday.
Come in next week, she says, turning to me.
I might have some work for ya.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Whoo!  Sorry I haven't posted in so long.  Nothing's been really happening, and when something DOES happen

I'm too lazy or too busy to write about it.
SO.

One: STILL NO JOB.  That one got me frustrated today, as I'd picked up two [what I later called 'bullshit] applications.  I threw them away.  Also in frustration. :|  Which did nothing for me because what have we learned, children?  That's right, ding ding ding~

In order to GET A JOB [at least at this point in my life] one either needs a really nice ass or an application.

Two: Friends are awesome.  We've been doing these movie night things lately where we pile in my car [or, recently DENI'S car, that's right, we share the taxi responsibilities now <3] and head to my house for delicious food and a movie.  I say movie, singular, because after one we usually end up talking/doodling until Deni and Derek have to head home [because even though they're 20-somethings they still live in their parents house and therefore have a curfew.  JOY OF JOYS.]

Three:  I'm going to be the stereotypical fat girl, here.  You can be my snarky, you-go-girl friend if you want.  Okay, ready?

CLOTHES DO NOT MAKE THE GIRL.  But they do occasionally make her feel pretty. 
I NEED TO QUIT CRYING IF I SEE A BULGE [real or imagined] AND ACCEPT WHO I AM GODDAMNIT.  Just because some days the mirror seems like it's my enemy, it's not.  Go eat lunch, and that doesn't mean pick the lettuce off your sandwich and leave the bread and meat on the table while you nibble away at your greens.  EAT.  It's not going to kill you.
ON THE DAYS THAT I DO FEEL LIKE SHIT AND WANT TO CUT OR OTHERWISE PUNISH MYSELF FOR BEING FAT, I need to remember that I'm more than the package I walk around in. [You can thank FatGrrl, my new feminist blogger!heroine, for that quote.  Haha.]

Okay, I think I've got that out of my system.  Thank you for being my stand-in.  You can go now if you want.

Four: OHGOD iANTIVIRUS.  It's taken over my life and even though I occasionally stress over posts I'm enjoying it SO HARD.  <3  Gotta openly thank my boy for introducing me to it. <3

Five: Art.  Yes, art, that monster that occasionally lets me draw pretty pictures and forces me to pull my hair out over a peice of paper other times.  Been doodling a lot.  I feel bad that I hardly upload anything to my dA, but that's because my doodles aren't like... masterpeices of doodles, like other artists do.  They're scribbles.  Smudges.  Pencil scratches upon a lowly peice of paper.  But I'm still an artist, goddamnit.  I won't let myself forget it.

Okaybedtiemnow.  AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU STILL VISIT THIS DAMN SITE?!  Updates.  Whee. C:

p.s. is it bad that I want to get a book subtitled "Sex position secrets for better bucking"?  I swear it's all in the word "bucking" b'awwww.

I don't think there's much to be said about this comment besides "jeepers".  Also possibly "what an attention-seeking cockmongrel".

Nevertheless, it's my favourite, and it will continue to be until I find one that simultaneously mentions various internet memes. [3 or more, excluding mudkips.]

Also, since I love letting you people into every aspect of my life, have some quotes from texts I've either recieved and/or sent out in reply to what was recieved. : D

-Ya know, there was a reason i didnt want to go to the pawn shop...but u neglected to think of it
-Um... why? I'm sorry, are you mad at me or something? You'd said you wanted to go, so I assumed you wanted to today. Seriously, I don't know what's wrong. Um...talk to me, please?
-Then when you came i said i didnt want too...and then you went and pretty much stole the cane and sold it.
-I thought you were just tired and if you didn't want me to sell it, you wouldve said.
-I thought common sense would have been used... if i no go, then i no sell. But u took it anyway
-I thought you might be proud of me cause I went and did something on my own and came back with money for you without you having to go anywhere. I thought I was using common sense, too. 'Cause if you wanted to sell it last night, you'd want to sell it today too. Any other kind of assumption is the opposite of common sense, right? Either way, I'm really sorry and I won't make that mistake again, cross my heart.

I'm the one with the [slightly] better grammar. I sure got her pissed off, though...  Which is great, y'know, 'cause starting early Monday my mother's going to be gone all week, aaand I had planned to invite my friends overrr~ But now that she's mad, I know Derek and Joey've taken her side [Joey has, anyhow] and so yeah.  No company for Michelle. e__e;

Not eligible for student aid, second time in a row.  I should've known.

My life's not destined to go anywhere, is it?
Going to keep looking for a job.

She doesn't trust me anymore

Does ANYONE trust me?
I had a headache, and apparently someone's been hiding the tylenol, the aspirin, the ibuprofen.

Mom gets home, and the first thing she asks me when I ask her if she has any aspirin is "Do you have a headache?"
Then she says, after she hands me the bottle "One should do it."

After I pop the child-proof cap back on, she says, "Show me how many you took."

I said two as I opened my hand to show, and I was turned around at the time, with my back to her
Because I didn't want her to see my overly-wide smile as I forced back tears.

I'm sorry all anyone hears from this journal anymore is "poor me" and "life sucks".

I have a loving boyfriend, friends who I'm sure love me, and
A roof over my head, food to eat, a car for which I'm saving up [meager amounts of] gas money.  I have an adorable cat who's mewling in my ear right now, and a laptop.  Internet access.  A cell phone.

I need to quit focusing on the faults in my life.  Sorry, everybody.

I ate French toast for breakfast this morning, and
Immediately felt guilt!

Simply because Last night I saw Derek, who hadn't eaten since Sunday.
God, I'm so much better off.
Maybe I should go on HIS diet.  Oh, but Red's is so much nicer...

[Add a little of column A, a little of column B, stir it around, and you've got a plan for success.]

Speaking of your Diet, Red
Nice job adding those little white tablets.
I'm sure they'll do wonders!
Do let me know how it works out.

Sorry I wasn't in my office, my dear
I'll have to make it up to you.

YAY LIFE.

My amazing friend BearFeathers is helping out, by the way[she did it without asking. the little whore. <3]:

http://bearfeathers.deviantart.com/journal/25555235/